Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Twixters by Day, Narration College by Night?

Narrator Mood: Broke

"Sometimes Narrators need to take up second jobs".

Narrating the lives of six people is demanding but it doesn't always pay the bills. When narrators need to make money they do what all artist people do - commercials.. sorry I meant teach.

On the issue of teaching, it is said that "those who can't, teach". What should be said is "those who can, sometimes need more money".

Teaching is an interesting profession because you spend half your life in school as a sheep and the other half in school as a sheep herder. Plus, narration work is harder and harder to get, now that Morgan Freeman does all film narration and Keifer Sutherland does all commercial narration. That leaves three jobs for myself, James Earl Jones and whatever the name of that J. Peterman guy is.

"Survey says: Type Cast"

With all this being said I reluctantly took a job as a teacher this summer for a local Narration and Performance College. I didn't want to teach but I did want to do the commercial for the college and to get that gig I have to teach apparently. I know what you're thinking and yes, it does cut into my time narrating the lives of the Twixters. Not all of the characters appreciate my "me time".

"Sometimes, Narrators feel sad"

I'll let you in on a little secret, "creative" colleges don't want you to succeed, in fact you just showing up there is a problem for the faculty. Why? Well look at this way, the most successful of my students will end up competing with me for jobs and the least successful of my students will probably teach and compete with me for a job.

So if you think you can do what I do, watch this ad for the College of Narration and Performance and learn more.

The Fumber School of Narration and Performance.


The Narrator

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If you don't have anything nice to say...

  • "Twixters creators turn short end of the stick into generational shtick" - the Toronto Star
  • "offers some real insight and humour..." - The Globe and Mail on The What Is
  • "The What Is has an intriguing mandate... it's worth checking out" - The Toronto Sun
  • " a voice of reason... Toronto's answer to Keith Olbermann" - Eye Weekly on Dan Speerin
  • "...treads into unchartered tv territory" - Eye Weekly on the The What Is
  • " A biting satire of media stereotypes and a fresh look on life after college" - Campus Life Canada
  • "Veering between biting satire and grim realism, Twixters is a comedy series with an edge" - U of T Magazine
  • "Biting Social Satire" - Sun TV's Canoe Live on Cynically Tested